Don't Worry, Be Happy

Dear Friends of Oak Hill, I am posting today about something that is currently heavily on my mind, and I feel the need to climb briefly onto my soap box. Please forgive me and indulge me a shortish sermon. Read it and consider it for the sake of your little ones;

Our job as adults, teachers, parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors is to nurture, love and protect our children. We protect them from illness by ensuring proper nutrition, protect them from the cold by bundling adequately in the winter, see to it that they nap and sleep enough, scour food labels for unwanted ingredients, have car seats inspected to maximize their safety in the back seat, put sun hats, sunscreen and tick repellent on them when they play outside, vaccinate them so they avoid unnecessary diseases, and make sure that their bike helmet is the right size in case of a fall.... the list goes on and on, and frankly at times can feel exhausting.... and yet we do them all, unquestioningly.

It has come to my ears recently more and more frequently, that young children in the grocery store, on planes and trains, at the playground and yes, even at Oak Hill, are chatting freely (albeit very simply, muddled and confused) with each other about topics not even remotely appropriate for their growing souls. Much in the same way that we wouldn't give a child an adult sized dose of medicine, or put an extra large helmet on a toddler, we should also refrain from inundating these young, vulnerable spirits with 'adult sized' news and information.

It is just as damaging.

As a parent of 5 adult children spanning 2 generations, millenials and gen Z, I am witnessing daily what the impact of growing up in this age of endless information, apocalyptic pronouncements, partisan divisions, violence, fear and anxiety is having on them. It is hard to watch, difficult to navigate and at times it is almost impossible to know how to respond.

The old argument that always seemed to ring true; that for every young generation there is a crisis, we all faced similar scenarios etc etc doesn't work today. Though these statements appear true, WE did not have these issues rubbed in our faces and held literally before our eyes, every minute of every day, with a *ping* each time there is a new "breaking news" alert. It is different today and overwhelming in its omnipresence.

Please, please, please: For the sake of your children. Turn off your radios when traveling with them in the car. Silence your 'updates' and resist the temptation to check them whilst you are around your little ones. They are watching you and watching your face. When your face radiates worry, concern, anger etc you transfer it to your child and it becomes their problem too. The other day a three yr old was walking round with a flatish piece of tree bark, and every few seconds, she looked at it, 'swiped' to the next 'screen' and exclaimed, smacked her forehead with dramatic exasperation, giggled or exclaimed at what she saw there...

Don't watch or listen to the news with them and if they are starting to read, leave children's books lying around, not newspapers screaming desperate headlines.

If you are concerned about the conflicts around the globe, teach your child the word 'peace'. Learn to sing a song about it (I've got peace like a river, or others) or a song to quell anxiety (Don't worry, Be happy, or 3 Little Birds) and make it part of your daily routine.

Help your child come up with a list of chores they can help with and throw a few pennies, dimes or more into a jar every time you complete these chores together. Explain that they can make a difference in their community, and take the jar when it is full and donate it to the local food pantry. In other words EMPOWER your child rather than let them become stifled by your fears or anxieties. As you watch them living into the feeling of empowerment, it might just turn something around for you too!

If you are concerned for your little one's future amidst the news of climate change, plant a tree with him, grow a vegetable garden together, let them help with recycling, or hanging laundry out to dry instead of using the dryer...make up a little song about turning off the water while you're brushing teeth... These lessons are enough and need no further explanation, and most importantly, these lessons go ALL the way to planting the seeds for the next generation to be careful and engaged stewards of the earth they will inherit from us. Make it a habit to have a pair of gloves and a garbage bag in the back of your car so you can stop and pick up garbage when you see it alongside the road. Talk about the impact your actions will have on the animals who live there!

In general a good rule of thumb when deciding how much to share with your little one, is, 'can they do anything about it?'. If the answer is clearly no, then the news is too big and potentially damaging for them.

If you would like more information about the impact of too much information too soon, I can share articles...there are plenty. But in the meanwhile please consider these thoughts and for the sake of your little one, refresh your memory so you can tell some fairy tales on that next car ride...or sing some songs together...or just look out the windows and observe the world around you. Let them tell you what they can see, what they think, and what is going on in their heads.... a little stream of consciousness from a 3 yr old can be very healing, not to mention entertaining! Trust me

Peace xx